


Out West to California

by GamblingDementor



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: College, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 14:28:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11292558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamblingDementor/pseuds/GamblingDementor
Summary: The worst case scenario happens as soon as her second week of classes. Nina is not letting this year be a failure, and the years after that either, for that matter. Every night, she's at the library until her eyes get itchy from too much reading. The big table by the English back section will become a second home, she decides on the first day back. She'll make herself comfortable and work as much as she can, and then some more for good measure. Or at least she would if some guy didn't sit right in front of her the first day of the next week.Or, how Benny and Nina got exclusive.





	Out West to California

Their true last moment together is on the afternoon before she flies away to Stanford again. Of course, Benny is invited to her last dinner at home tonight before she leaves in the early morning, but that's with her parents around, with the bodega boys and the salon girls, and Nina only really counts their time together if there is no one around. There's certainly not a soul to see them now, after one last time before who knows how long, hair tousled from too short a time of loving each other, cradled in Benny's arms on his small bed, her back against him sitting against the wall, skin against skin.

 

"I don't wanna leave," she moans.

 

He chuckles and the laugh vibrates through her in their embrace and she hates to think about tomorrow when she'll be so far away from him.

 

"Yes, you do," he kisses her head gently, brushing a curl behind her ear.

 

"Yes, I do," she admits, defeated. "But I'll miss you so much."

 

"I'm here now," he says simply, holding her tight. A hand slides down her stomach, so light it's almost tickling. "Do you want me to…"

 

She shakes her head, lies back even closer to him, even more comfortable, and he nods and gets back to holding her, her arms circling his on her chest.

 

"Maybe later again," she says. "I just want to… to feel close. While we still can."

 

"You'll get yourself a nice college guy to fill in my place," he laughs and her blood turns cold. She turns around to see his face and sees only self-pity that he so tries to hide. It's not the first time she sees that face and she hates that she has to. She hates that he's made to feel this way.

 

"No, I won't," she retorts but he shakes his head.

 

"Well, you might."

 

"Where's this coming from?" She asks, a hand reaching up to hold his face, but he grabs it away, kisses her palm, and puts it back down.

 

He settles down on the bed a bit more stiffly and she tries not to read into things, but it is very, very hard not to understand this as some soft rejection.

 

"I… I love you," he says, not quite looking at her, his eyes somewhere on the wall on the other side of the room. "I don't want you to feel like I'm being possessive or anything. You deserve someone so much better and if you find him, I want you to get him."

 

"Benny…"

 

"Just… Just promise me," he says, hands grabbing hers a little too tight from nerves. "That if you want to date other people…"

 

"I won't."

 

"That you won't stop yourself because of _me_. That you won't feel limited."

 

" _I won't_ ," she insists. "Benny, don't make me promise anything."

 

He sighs, hugs her close against him and she wants to enjoy it as much as she did five minutes ago but anxiety is eating her from the inside now. He feels it, kisses her temple.

 

"I love you," he says again and she believes him, she truly does, but just the _doubts_. "I don't _want_ to leave you, I'd love to stay with you for as long as you'll have me, but… but if you find someone better, then you should be with him. That's all. I want you to know you have that option."

 

Nina realizes there is no tearing him away from that line of thought, no matter how wrong it is. And she won't let them waste away their last afternoon together before who knows when. Tight into his embrace, she never feels so safe or comfortable and the very thought of getting this tenderness from someone else is unthinkable. Is it _possible_ she could ever want someone other than Benny? Is she ever going to want that? She kisses him, kisses the doubts away.

 

The worst case scenario happens as soon as her second week of classes. Nina is not letting this year be a failure, and the years after that either, for that matter. Every night, she's at the library until her eyes get itchy from too much reading. The big table by the English back section will become a second home, she decides on the first day back. She'll make herself comfortable and work as much as she can, and then some more for good measure. Or at least she would if some guy didn't sit right in front of her the first day of the next week.

 

She ignores him for the better part of the evening, though she feels his eyes on her. They make her uncomfortable and the very few times she dares to look up, she hates the thought at the pit of her stomach that he looks kind of cute and is smiling at her. The content of her book seems harder and harder to process and she eventually makes the decision of going back to her room for the night. She'll be quiet there, maybe in a better mindset. In any case, not distracted.

 

"Wait!"

 

A hand brushes against her arm in the hall, not quite daring to grab her. Tall guy ( _not as tall as Benny_ , she thinks), dark hair, cute eyes, nice smile.

 

"Where're you going?" He grins, the voice of a guy who is used to having girls turn silly when he talks to them. Nina is scared to be one of those girls.

 

"To my dorm," she replies, fidgeting with the straps of her backpack.

 

She makes herself as small as she can, propping herself against the wall. The guy smiles like he wants her to feel comfortable, but she doesn't and she doesn't think she will in his presence. She thinks of Benny's hand in hers, how perfect it feels.

 

"Come on, let's grab a cup of coffee together, there's a Starbucks down the street."

 

She shuffles from feet to feet. His smile is _very_ cute. _Benny's smile is cuter._ And she hates Starbucks.

 

"No, thank you, I gotta go," she mumbles and walks away before he can catch up with her.

 

She calls Benny the second she steps out of the library. It's already getting late here, much later in New York but she doesn't even consider the option of calling him tomorrow. Her breath is coming short and her heart is drumming threateningly. She needs Benny's voice more than anything in the world, and she needs it _right now_. She needs Benny.

 

"Nina? Are you okay?" Benny's tired voice asks her.

 

"I want you," she blurts out.

 

 _Quite the wordsmith_ , she tells herself. _Good job, Nina_. It's nearing midnight in New York and she knows Benny was probably sleeping or getting to it, but there is still all the kindness in the world in his voice.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I… I wanna be exclusive. Always. I don't want us to see other people. Some dude hit on me and I felt so gross and I know you said I could date around because you don't want to limit me, but I don't feel limited, I feel… I feel like I love you and I want to be with you. Only you. That's the only way I wanna be with you."

 

There is silence on the other side of the line and for a few long seconds, she's terrified that he's going to hang up, that he's going to hate her or refuse her.

 

"Are you free this weekend?" He asks eventually.

 

"Wha…"

 

"Are you free this weekend? Can I visit? I miss you."

 

Her heart is throbbing inside her chest and her mouth is dry, but she only has to remember the feel of Benny's arms around her, the warmth of him, his voice, his smile.

 

"Yeah," she breathes out. "Yeah, you can visit."

 

Another few heavy seconds of silence, but there is no angst to it anymore. She's thinking of something relevant to say but her mind is coming up blank.

 

"I love you," Benny says, cutting the silence. "I'm so happy you're telling me this. I wanna…" He yawns and groans at the sound. "Can I call you back tomorrow?"

 

"Yeah!" She'd feel almost ashamed to call this late, if she wasn't so happy to hear these words from him, every time as much of a surprise. "I love you too."

 

"Goodnight, Nina."

 

She loves him for this, how she can hear the smile in his voice even from thousands of miles away.

 

"Goodnight, Benny."

 

She goes to bed smiling like an idiot and looking up flights from New York.

 

And just like that, one day Nina is pining for her boy back home, and the next he gives her an exact time and place, thrillingly close, only a few days of waiting till she can see him again.

 

"I need to see you," Benny said when they got a hold of each other the next day. "I don't want to wait."

 

He schedules a cheap flight at an unlikely fortunate time. She starts counting the hours until she gets to meet him there the exact second he disembarks. The rest of the week, she tries to contain all her excitement in her heart, to focus on work like a good student, but often as not her thoughts go to her boyfriend back in the Heights and she has to recenter herself on her textbooks. Damn hormones. They'll get the best of her some day, starting with this weekend. The days cannot pass any longer than they do ; it feels like an eternity before Friday finally comes. In the morning, she tries to make herself pretty, her cutest shirt, her nice underwear, but her hair doesn't seem to want to cooperate and she feels ugly and dressed like a scarecrow. She sends him a picture and he replies with heart eyes but somehow the weight at the pit of her stomach won't lift away.

 

It stays deep inside her all day, tugging at her heart, her throat, all the way across the city to the airport, until the very moment the gate opens to let the passengers through and she sees in the distance already his crop of coiled hair and then his smile bigger than his face, the warmth in his eyes. He runs the last few steps towards her, pulls her in his arms.

 

"Nina…" He sighs out, almost in relief.

 

"Benny," she replies into his chest.

 

They must make a funny spectacle, clutching each other, an island in the middle of this flow of people in a hurry, but Nina never wants to let go of him, not ever, not until she's forced to. Benny's body has never felt so warm and comforting against her. There is a peace in his arms that cannot be matched and she _knows_ there is no one out there for her except him. The hug lasts five minutes, ten minutes, an hour if they could.

 

"I love you," she whispers, just between the two of them.

 

Benny pulls back just enough to look at her and she almost cannot take the intensity. He gives her a deep kiss, a hand cupping her face, and there is a satisfaction filling her she can't even explain.

 

"I love you," he whispers back against her mouth, forehead against hers.

 

She takes him to her favorite diner place to grab dinner and the whole while, Benny's eyes are soft on her, watching her like she's the eighth wonder of the world. They hold hands over the table and talk very scarcely. There is no need to, somehow, as their hearts are in perfect sync wordlessly, and the smiles they're exchanging are the sweetest thing in the world.

 

"How's everyone?" She asks finally.

 

He smirks suddenly and pulls a folded piece of paper out of a pocket, handing it over.

 

"Vanessa gave me this for you."

 

Nina looks at him quizzically and unfolds the letter. She recognizes Vanessa's messy narrow print and…

 

" _If you read this, you better jump on that di_ … Oh my god, she's such a…"

 

"A good friend?" He suggests, cocking a brow.

 

"I was gonna say a jerk, but sure," she laughs.

 

He laughs as well, the warmest sound in the world.

 

"Usnavi and Sonny say hello," he adds, an afterthought. "I would have told your parents, but…"

 

She nods, sadness tugging inside her all of a sudden, which he is anxious to soothe away with a kiss on her hand. So her parents still haven't gotten used to her and Benny, so what? Actually, scratching that, the problem really only ever was her _dad_. But they're a team, the Rosarios senior, and if Benny had told her mom, she would have told her dad and Nina isn't about to let this weekend be ruined by whatever he would do if he knew. Angry calls, cold and curt words maybe, much bigger a gap than what she wants between them. Some day, they'll understand. Some day, they'll both know Benny is the man for her.

 

They walk to her dorm holding hands and Nina so missed the feel of Benny's large hand in hers, the feel of his lips against her temple as he leans down to kiss her every so often. It's always sunny here and the night hasn't completely fallen yet, so their walk is basked in the warmth of a setting sun, the sky orange and pink and gray. They've stopped talking and maybe they don't need to right now. Maybe Benny being here with her already says it all. Talk can come later.

 

"My room's this way," she gestures once they step in the hall.

 

Benny nods, giving her the sweetest smile that makes her stomach churn in anticipation. _It's only been a month_. But as Benny wraps an arm around her waist for the last few steps, down the hall, it feels like years have passed since the last time his arms were around her so, much too long, but not enough that she has forgotten how it feels.

 

"I got a single room," she explains uselessly − she's already told him all about her accommodation the very first day she landed back in California, but she feels like she'll lose control if she doesn't supply her brain with something sensible to say. "It's much smaller but at least… It's a single…"

 

Benny's arms snake around her waist as they approach the door, distracting her from opening it, his lips soft on her ear, her neck, her shoulder. She's suddenly forgetting the color of the underwear she put on this morning, worrying if it looks nearly cute enough for the occasion. The whole outfit looks awful, probably. And what is it with this top that made her think it was a good idea to put this on for him? Better take everything off so the embarrassment of looking silly is gone. She breathes out sharply as Benny's arms tighten around her, the mass of his body behind her. The door seems impossibly hard to open as she fiddles with the key, laughing breathlessly, anxiously. The second it's open, she pulls him inside. Duffel bag dropped, door closed and locked, nothing in their way. Nothing at all.

 

He only has to take one look at her before closing the distance between them and his hands are cupping her face firmly as he leans down to kiss her. She's lucky he's so strong, because her heart has turned soft and she feels like she could fall down into a puddle of nerves any second, but she won't, not when Benny is here to take care of her.

 

"I missed you," he says, his voice laced with a desire that matches hers.

 

Slowly but surely, he walks her backwards, the few short steps to the bed until the back of her knees hit the mattress.

 

"I…" She starts but lose track of her own thoughts when his hands slide down, holding her waist, her hips, and he lies her down on the bed. She put on fresh linens this morning, hopes he appreciates the thought.

 

"You're even more beautiful than I remembered," he whispers against her ear, pressing feather-light kisses against it, down her neck. "I missed you so much."

 

"I missed you," she moans as his hand slides up under her shirt, across her stomach and stopping short of cupping her breast, making her burn in anticipation.

 

She's needed this so much. Only a few short weeks till they last saw each other and she's already touched herself several times thinking about him, but nothing comes even _close_ to the real deal. There is simply nothing to recreate the feel of Benny's weight on her, the tenderness in every touch, the softness of his kisses. She loves him so very, very much. Her heart is drumming in her chest even though the wait is coming to an end.

 

"Nina," he says in that low deep voice, the one he only uses in bed, only with her. She grips the back of his head, his kisses getting insistent near the collar of her shirt as he also at the same time pushes it up, his fingers a whisper against her skin.

 

"Mmh?"

 

One of his leg is pressing down between hers, almost accidentally at first but there is nothing random with the way Benny grinds it against her, slow and exacerbating.

 

"I really wanna eat you out."

 

His leg pressing down heavily, trapped between hers, her heart is pounding, loud in her ears.

 

"By all means…"

 

He smiles against her skin and the shirt is soon forgotten on the floor and what a surprise, it really didn't matter what she wore, because Benny loves her even more without it anyways. The clothes peel away from her − and him, at least his shirt for the feel of his chest against hers − as he covers her skin with kisses and caresses all softer than the one before.

 

"I've thought about this every night," he says and he has no right to have a voice like that, not when he knows how wet he makes her already.

 

"God, me too."

 

A little tortuous path of kisses down her neck, pausing for way too long at her breasts, covering them in love, gentle fingers playing with the one, mouth gulfing down a nipple on the other. She pushes her hips up languidly, waiting for more, and soon, but all comes in good time when Benny shares her bed. Her nipples are red and hard by the time he's done, fingers keeping her hot and bothered while his mouth has a better course to take, kisses across her stomach, on the hair of her mound, skipping to the inside of her thighs.

 

"Look at you," he says, fingers reaching down against the pulsing warmth of her. "You've been needing this. You're soaked."

 

 _Because of you_ , she thinks. _Only you can make me this way_.

 

The first lick makes her moan out ridiculously too loud for a crowded dorm but she rationalizes herself away from being embarrassed. It wouldn't be the first time people have sex in this building. Not even this week, possibly today. College students are horny little creatures. It's her turn at pleasure now and she'll take it. Benny is ever teasing, tongue darting out, barely toying with her clit as a finger presses in.

 

"Benny, you're gonna…"

 

He's going to drive her crazy is what he is. She's feeling way oversensitive and she knows that logically, it can't be that exhilarating from the first lick but her head is swarming up with all of those _thoughts_. That Benny really does want to be with her, only with her, and her only with him, and he came all the way over here to prove it. She's never felt this loved before.

 

"Benny, I love you," she moans, fingers deep into his hair.

 

"I love you," he whispers and gets back to it immediately.

 

During one of their first times (and how lucky she is that they've had their share of lovemaking all summer, enough that she feels quite experienced in this), he nudged her legs apart and dove down and gave her the best orgasm she'd had with him, only topped with another, and a third for good measure before she stopped him, too sensitive for a fourth. He'd said he could stay between her legs forever if she wanted. She'd laughed, more out of exhaustion than real humor, and told him they'd do that some day, see how many he could get out of her. For a brief second, she wonders if today might be the day, but then with all the wait this week, all the build up, she knows she won't have the patience for it, not when she has much bigger fun waiting as well.

 

Almost too soon, her toes curl in and every muscle in her body tenses before letting go and she feels soothed from every anxiety she didn't even know she had so early in the school year. But Benny has a way to make her rediscover parts of her she never even knew were there. And then again. Far from slowing down to let her catch her breath, Benny keeps at it, insistent and hot against her, sucking her oversensitive clit, sliding another finger inside, stretching her deliciously. _Okay, maybe just a second one_. He keeps working his magic and she lets him bring her over the edge another time, just as fine and perfect as the first, but stops him then.

 

"No, I want to… I want…"

 

He looks up, wipes his chin, and gives her a naughty grin. There's no need for a show of it ; he just stands up and removes his remaining clothes, and she doesn't pretend to have the modesty of looking away. It's just one time they get to do this after a month and before who knows how long of not seeing each other. She's a big girl, she's allowed to watch. She looks down and bites her lip. Another thing she's missed about Benny. She might just find the courage to ask him for a picture or two before he leaves.

 

"I know what you want," he says and she loves him all the more for that, for being so confident again. It suits him.

 

Shuffling inside his duffel bag, another angle she likes, the muscles on his back and butt that she loves to hold onto. He puts down the box of condoms on her night stand, takes one for himself and sits against the headboard of her bed, wrapping himself down.

 

"Big weekend plans?" Nina smirks, grabbing the 36-condom box to study it. Magnum size. She wonders how awkward buying them must have been at Usnavi's shop. "How many of those do you think we'll use…"

 

"As many as you want," he replies and takes the box away from her, putting it back down, grabbing her hips instead.

 

Nina gets on his lap, something she felt so awkward with at first, being on top, but Benny has only ever been gentle and encouraging and they've only become closer over time. She's feeling much better about it now. There's an intimacy about being in his arms in this way.

 

"Starting with the one," she whispers, kissing him, hands gripping his shoulders.

 

Arms around her waist, the tightest embrace in the world, she sighs as she sinks down onto him slowly, carefully. He rubs her back gently, kisses on her cheeks, her neck.

 

"I missed you," he says against her ear, brushing a curl of hair behind it.

 

"I love you," she replies.

 

Some might think they're big saps, a whole month apart and still their lovemaking doesn't have much fire. Or rather it has a different kind of heat, hidden embers, a deeper passion that burns all the same but at their own pace. Like _they_ want it. And they like it romantic. They like it tender.

 

"You feel so good, baby," Benny whispers as he starts to guide her hips up and down, the delicious slide of him inside her, nothing like her fingers.

 

She moans, leaning for a kiss, Benny's lips warm and still wet from her from before against hers. An arm holding her tight, the other slides between them to press a heavy thumb on her clit with every thrust. It's a comfort that they can and do keep for as long as they can, neither of them in much of a hurry to be done. And the third orgasm builds much slower than the first two, with Benny's best efforts. She doesn't want it to be rushed forward, loves taking her time. Benny kisses her lazily. If this is what this weekend is going to be made of… Better yet, if this is a glimpse into their future life, well, she can't wait to get to it. It takes her a full, long time before getting close again and when finally she feels ready for it, her fingers join Benny's on her clit, getting the last bits of pleasure before it topples down. When she comes, she feels herself clamping down on Benny and she is overwhelmed with the knowledge that they are one. They are meant to be together. This is what's meant for them. Another kiss from Benny before he cannot take much more. He holds her down onto him through the last of his own pleasure, his breath heavy against her ear, fingers digging into her hips. The muscles on his back tense and then relax at once as he lets out a long breath he'd just been holding, warm on her neck. She stirs slowly, bringing his face to hers, kissing him. Her body, which was so acutely sensitive before, is getting soft and mellow and she wants nothing more than remaining here, comfortably snuggled against Benny. He is also getting soft down there and she readjusts herself, pulls off him. She feels so right in his arms.

 

"Sweetheart," he says softly, kissing her cheeks, her nose.

 

"Mmh?"

 

"I gotta get rid of the…"

 

" _Oh_ ," she feels her cheeks warm up. "Yeah, erm… Yeah."

 

She scrambles off of him, gesturing to the waste basket in the corner and Benny stands up and gets rid of the condom. Nina makes her bed look a bit tidier while he's got his back turned, prettier, and slides under the cover, holding them up for him. Benny lies back down, pulling her close, her head against her shoulder.

 

"I'm so happy you're here," she sighs contentedly.

 

"There is nowhere else I'd rather be right now."

 

 _Right now?_ Nina hates that the anxiety is already gnawing at her, the fears already clouding her mind that this moment is bound to end. He'll be gone in a couple days and nothing is promised beyond right now. She sits up abruptly under his inquisitive gaze − of course he sensed her unease.

 

"Promise me," she says, her voice much more desperate than she likes. "I mean, you don't _have_ to, but I'd rather… I'm not sure you're gonna want to…"

 

Her breath is coming short and she looks down in embarrassment. They're supposed to be over this. They're supposed to already be together, just the two of them, and she's supposed to be satisfied. But just saying the words out loud would feel so much better… He sits up, pulling her into a snug embrace, two fingers under her chin to make her look into his deep brown eyes. She gulps.

 

"What do you want me to promise?" He asks calmly.

 

She takes a big breath. She can't look away from this. Looking straight into his eyes, she replies truthfully.

 

"That _this_ ," she gestures between them, "is forever. I… I don't see myself ever loving anybody else. Not now, not ever. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." His eyes widen and she immediately feels foolish. "You don't have to if you…"

 

"I promise," he cuts her. "Of course. I've… I've felt that way since, well, since the night after you came back home. The blackout."

 

 _Since their first time._ A smile breaks onto her face and she melts into him, lying back down, safe in his arms forever. Or forever enough after she gets back home for good, for him.

 

"The rest of our lives…" She ponders.

 

Benny hums in agreement, fingertips tracing idle circles on her back. A chuckle makes his chest heave.

 

"Vanessa will be happy to learn you proposed."

 

She turns her head to have a look at him but he is staring at the pictures she pinned at the ceiling − there's a couple pictures of the both of them they snapped this summer. Without looking, he feels the thought coursing through her.

 

"I know you didn't," he smiles. "I was just joking." A pause. "Besides, _I_ wanna be the one doing that. Some day."

 

She hides her grin against his shoulder. She can't know if he's just indulging her or if this is something he can envision too, but she loves him all the same for it.

 

"Vanessa will be my bridesmaid," she says, allows herself a bit of dreaming.

 

"And Usnavi my best man. And the godfather of our…"

 

"Children," she finishes where Benny trailed off.

 

It's a fantasy they're building, made of bricks of love and frustration at the distance between them, but Nina can't help but feel it's also a future they could reach. Some day.

 

"Van would say I'm a hopeless sap if she heard this," she snorts self deprecatingly.

 

Benny kisses the top of her head.

 

"She's not here now," he says. "How many kids? Hypothetically."

 

She hums. She's made up these scenarios so many times in the confines of her own mind they're as familiar as reality.

 

"Five," she says, a certainty in her dreams though it sounds more like a question now. "I don't know. A lot. Enough that they'll never play alone on a fire escape."

 

"We were five at home," he notes.

 

She knew that, but realizes with a bit of shame that she doesn't know much else about his childhood. And most of what she knows, she got from Usnavi.

 

"Did you like it?"

 

"I survived it," he shrugs. "We'll have as many as you want."

 

They talk more and more, all night long, till it all feels so very real and not like a dream at all. It _is_ a fantasy, but it is a future too. It's a life they both see in the distance for the two of them. A brood of little kids driven around town by their daddy, a home filled with love and delicious food (Nina might have to up her game by then, maybe ask for her mom's help), reading them books every night, and always Benny by her side. They talk about it until their voices are down to hushed whispers for fear of waking the other students who aren't out partying, decide − for now − on every detail of the smallest importance and find themselves on the exact same page for it all.

 

It's a life between them that has already started.


End file.
